Personality Traits In An Eight
author: Mike Sullivan
From the stern:
- Cox:
- It's pretty obvious what traits a cox must adopt and tries to
learn to do a good job in this most unique position in the
athletic world. I'll pass on the leadership stuff, napoleon
complex garbage, and point out a secondary characteristic or two
that coxes unintentionally inherit after riding in the box for a
while.
- They can't drive a car anymore. They take 10 miles to change a
lane, oversteer, can't find the brakes, and yell to the car a lot.
This has nothing to do with the coxes' former driving ability.
Stick Richard Petty in a cox seat for a while, they'll take his
drivers license away. Coxes also begin to squint a lot, no loss in
vision, they just squint.
- Stroke:
- 'It's a tough job but only I can do it.' The meekest, most
frightened non-rower in the world - when plugged reluctantly in
the stroke seat, stays meek up until the first few strokes. The
first few paddle strokes, a thought grows in the wimps' sniveling
little mind that this job is his/hers for life. Back on the shore,
the real personality will percolate back to the surface. 'I hope
you guys could follow me ok'. In the boat they're thinking: 'stop
rushing, you weenies!" Strokes are born and made to be the most
competitive person in the boat by far, and if they stroke long
enough, become overly competitive in everything they pursue, or
don't pursue.. Don't expect to finish a game of Monopoly, Risk, or
Golf with a stroke. The only one that can beat him to the chow
line is the three man (more later) because the stroke was delayed
trying to put more oars away in the rack than anyone else.
- Seven:
- The seven seat is the Bitch Niche. I don't know if whining,
overly bossy, big mouthed complainers are born, and I can't
believe that the cosmic effect of this seat could possibly be so
instantaneous, but you could teach Mother Theresa to row in a
tank, stick her in an eight at seven for the first time, and as
the stern four is rowing away from the dock, she'll turn around
and yell at the bow four to 'set up the f*cking boat'. The longer
one rows at seven, the more sophisticated and complex the bitching
becomes, changing from a crude verbal rowing suggestion to the six
man in the early stages to long winded level-voiced reasoned
treatises after every piece explaining why the crew is slower now
than last week. Ever wonder why when a coach drives up shell-side
to ask how a piece went he says: 'So how did that go, fellas? -Not
you seven.' I was a team captain, looked up to leader of my
college crew, kept my mouth shut and did my job. I raced one week
at seven, my coach told me to 'shut up Sullivan' in a post race
meeting.
- Six:
- If you bred Arnold Swartzeneggar with a Golden Retriever, you
get a six. Six is also Seven's yin. The gentle giant, gorilla in
the mist. Six absorbs most of seven's bitching and keeps it from
moving through to the rest of the crew. Six nods and agrees a lot.
It is a hard thing for a normal person to row six. It seems like
such a great seat, you're in the stern, the boats more stable
here, but you are done with a rowing career at six, you find you
been used. Sixes are characterized by great competence in
execution of rowing and life, but poor self confidence and a
propensity to self-flagellation. Take your 3 year stroke out of
the stroke seat and stick him/her at six for a week. This will be
the first time you ever hear him/her say: 'My fault, fellas', at
the end of a poor piece. Sixes meditate. Sixes marry, go to work
for, and lend their power tools to sevens. This support system
keeps sevens with thriving businesses, mates they can walk all
over, and a garage full of power tools at their disposal that they
don't have to fix when they break.
- Five:
- God. Yahweh. Allah. Buddha. It's not that the five seat IS
those things, it's just that's how (s)he gets treated. Five's
stool don't stink, the catches don't hang. They're the older
brother or sister that gets special treatment, and has no idea. If
a photo is taken of the crew, five will look great, everyone else
is caught with shirtaills out, and snot on the lip. At heart and
soul, five forgets to change oil, pay phone bills, and turn in the
forms to the IRS. Five is an example of what happens to a bum that
is treated like a king, they act like one. Five has the greatest
delta between image and reality. The fortunate thing is that the
unearned unabashed worship lasts only as long as the time on the
water. Five's on his own back at home. Five wears aviator glasses.
- Four:
- The Amnesia-seat. Take a genius with a photographic memory.
Row said genius at four. Listen to him ask for the third time in
the same warmup. 'How many of these 500s are we doing?'. Four seat
is not stupid, just has immediate and catastrophic memory loss. At
a start and 20, four settles at 21 because in the time the cox
yelled 'settle in two', he forgot. In a Novice boat where the
seats have been removed and cleaned, it'll be four's that went
back in backwards. Four will forget to tell the boatman about
his(her) stripped rigger nut - usually from the time he is told by
the coach, until he arrives at the boatman's bench wondering what
he's doing there. On that first day on the water as the ice is
breaking up, who is rummaging around the back of the boathouse
looking for a sweatshirt? Four is why racing shirts are handed out
on race day.
- Three:
- Late in the water. Late to practice. Late to class. Late to
work. Late out of the water. Late to his date. Late to the team
bus. Late for everything but chow line. There is no
competitiveness involved here, just an uncanny knack to have the
first three rowers into the dining hall stopped by friends for a
brief discussion while three breezes on by to the tray stack.
Three generally gets assigned a sitter.
- Two:
- Lean to the Left, Lean to the right, stand up sit down fight
fight fight. Cheerleader. What is amazing, is to sit at four or
five after a particular piece - seven is whining about the
balance, the spacing, no swing, rushing: two is back there with
pom poms saying: ALL RIGHT GUYS! LETS DO THAT AGAIN!.... Two calls
out names of power 10s. 'Awright guys - OAR CLASH TEN!' If he says
something funny, he repeated something the bowman prompted him
with.
- Bow:
- Comedian. The bow seat creates a strange fatalism. They know
that in a catastrophic collision, they'll be the only one to die
or get paralysed. Consequently there is a constant quiet stream of
one-liners that two or three could probably hear if two were not
cheering loudly. If the bow is joined by a cox in a front-loader,
this trait completely disappears, since someone is now likely to
hear him joke about three being late, five not pulling hard, or
the coxn's course looking like a signature. (S)he can be humorless
and witless off the water, but on the water when there is breath
to spare, you're sure to catch a chuckle if you listen.
- Conclusion:
- There is no possible use for this info. You don't necessarily
stick your most competitive athlete at stroke. Stick anyone there
and they'll get competitive. It takes a long time for some of
these seat traits to manifest themselves in personality disorders,
but you can usually catch subtle differences the first day.
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